How to Catch a Lion in Bollywood Style

How to catch the lion

1. Newton's Method:

Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is equal and opposite reaction.Implies you caught lion

2. Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.

3. Schrodinger Method:

At any given moment, there is a positive probability that lion to be in the cage. So set the trap, sit down and wait.

4. Inverse Transformation Method:

We place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it.Perform an inverse transformation with respect to lion. Lion is in and we are out.

5. Thermodynamic Procedure:

We const ruct a semi-permeable membrane which allows everything to pass it except lions. Then sweep the entire forest with it.

6. Integration Differential Method:

Integrate the forest over the entire area. The lion is some where in the result. So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t lion to trace out the lion

GOT FRUSTRATED

Now lets kill the lion...

Rajnikanth Method :

1. Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

2. Remove the make-up and put it over lion. The lion will die notwithstanding that heavy weight.

Kamal Method:

Go near the lion and cry like anything.... Lion will die of sorrow !

Jayalalitha Method:

Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !

Manirathnam Method (director):

Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Balachandar Method (director):

Send a lioness into the forest. our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness(third) into the forest. You don't understand right...

ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont !

Shanker method (director):

Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.

Shah rukh khan method:

Release a film like 'ASHOKA".and make the lion to watch the movie.

Govinda method:

Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

Rahul dravid method:Ask the lion to bowl at u.U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run.

Menaka Gandhi method:

save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George bush method:

Link the lion with osama bin laden and shoot him.